I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Small penises have feelings too.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
