I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
