Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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