What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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