dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
