idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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