Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
