a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
