So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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