Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
soo... how was my night?
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