mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
