Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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