Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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