Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
