Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
