i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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