so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
