Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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