Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
