Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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