i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
