Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
