fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
