When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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