So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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