what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
