I wish my penis had an off switch
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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