Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
