just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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