This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
