Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
