your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
