We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
