I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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