Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't notice because vodka
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
