you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
