bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
