Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
