never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
