i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You left your phone here
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