This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
