I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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