I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Randomize
