I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
