I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
two words: eviction party
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
