fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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