Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
