I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
