Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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