He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just invented taco cereal.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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