people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
