Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My balls are so social today.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
