How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
vagina is talking i cant
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
