you turned your livingroom into a bong?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
